// Ä§hlêy'§ ßlðg //

...i set my clocks early coz i know i'm always late...

2006-07-21T22:28:00.000+03:00

...i set my clocks early coz i know i'm always late...

Whoo...well, exam week one has gone past in a flash...only one week left to go! Anyway, I'll go through each exam:
AC -> easy, really. It was only 1 hour and was totally simple.
Maths -> whoah, I used up every last second of this exam. It was 2 hours and kinda hard. Ms. Howden said our set (top set aaah) go 80% average, which is, like, really good dude for an average.
NS -> My word, did I stress over this exam. I had wads and wads of paper and, in the end, the exam was so basic compared to the crap I learned...
EMS -> Another stressie. I cried and cried the night before and in the car on the way to school. And it actually was fine...it was jsut long and you had to make sure you wrote fast enough otherwise you would run out of time. Lol, we had to make tv ads for the Fifa World Cup 2010. Mine had vuvuzelas (are you HONESTLY still reading?). And EISH!
Afriks -> This one (happend today FYI) I surprisingly didn't stress over. And it was fine, everyoner finished like half an hour early.

The exam week coming up includes DNT, English, then a study break (thank the lord) followed by HSS (horrors) and French.

My word, today, I couldn't even bring myself to study. I just phaffed on the Sims and finished the intro bit for my movie (I've been woking on it, for what, months and all I've done is the intro.......-_-). Once it's done I'll open up my new site, Retrospect Productions. It's going to be hot stuff (I hope).

I filled in some more surveys, check em out at http://www.bzoink.com/~berrylicious/surveys#

Luv y'all! Wish me luck for this home-run!

ASH

...'cause they told you you could be the next best superstar...

2006-07-14T21:55:00.000+03:00

...'cause they told you you could be the next best superstar...

Oh. My. Gosh. Hide and Seek was sooo frickin' disturbing. . And that whole thing about 2:06? Creepy...

Emily: Can you see now, daddy?

Dad: It's okay. Daddy's gone now.

...I ain't ever playing Hide and Seek again. -_-

Life...heck everything seems to be flying out of proportion. Exams start Monday. Here's how my exam schedule looks for this week:

Monday -> AC exam. Our AC dance afterwards
Tuesday -> Maths exam. This one is gonna be tough
Wednesday -> NS exam. Another toughie
Thursday -> EMS exam
Friday -> Afrikaans exam

And I don't feel nearly prepared. Sigh.

Tomorrow is Claudzies b-day. Yayness! (But the day afterwards is Michaels. Oh well.)

What's holding you back?

MEMORIES hold you back! You miss something that left you in the past, and you want it back. You might have lost a love, a friend, or something greater. Memories haunt you and you can't seem to get them out of your head, no matter how hard you try. These memories interfere with your life. WHO YOU NEED: this person is probably always with you! Most likely a close friend who has grown to love you deeply, but feels sad that you don't seem to see them, because you are caught up in your memories.

ASH

...everybody dance now...

2006-07-05T19:43:00.000+03:00

...i guess it's just too painful otherwise...

Oh. My. Wordness. NEW LAYOUT! Like, freak out! hahahaha

I really dig it, I think it gives my blog a more *cough* mature *coughhackmaturespluttermyass* look. Yeah...although my photo cube had to be reduced in size to fit in the bloody teeny sidebar...and now you can't view the full version of each photo for some reason...some stupid pop-up comes up for me, dunno bout u...

Anywayz, I GOT THE SAMSUNG Z540!!! Aaah...here're some (crappy) pics I took of it:

Its so hot it does sooo much more stuff than any of the other phones I've ever had...

Since I haven't done this for ages...SURVEY!! (click here)

Hope you guys all have a great week (or what's left of it)!

Luv y'all

ASH

...it's that beat that make ya bump ya bump...

2006-06-30T22:50:00.000+03:00

...it's that beat that make ya bump ya bump...

I've just come home after watching "Over the Hedge" with the family.

Hehelolz it was so funneh xD. I really thought it was gonna be, like, juvenile and with lame little one-liners. Hammy was the best. Period. mahehahahehahe.

Haha, Claudz sent me a please call me during the movies. So when I tried to phone her when I got home, it rang for like, 2 secs and then I heard this weird smash and a sudden engaged tone. Turns out she opened her phone and then dropped it.

Some of you guys might not realise it, but I'm actually a huge Sims 2 whore. Especially a Sims 2 movie whore. I'm starting to make a movie called...well...I dunno yet. But I decided it's gonna have "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls in it and "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls for the credits. I won't let in on any storylines yet...most likely coz I'm gonna change my mind half-way through. But I finished making the neighbourhood set today. I might change it, I dunno. Still gotta find some more custom content I think *sighs*. Dear greatness.

ASH

...hello there the angel from my nightmare...

2006-06-25T23:14:00.000+03:00

...hello there the angel from my nightmare...

The shit has hit the fan.
And when I'm talking about shit, I'm talking about SUPER shit.

Julia found out about not being invited to movies on Friday by Lara.

Whoah...was she pissed with Lara. And then, Lara being Lara, started trying to shift the blame onto me and A.J, saying that it was all our fault and that we had decided not to invite her. Haha. Nice friend I have. Claudine and Julia luckily saw right through her lies. I don't know what's going to happen from here. Most likely Lara will be kicked out of the group, and trust me, I won't be following her.

Good grief...that I Miss You song by Blink 182 is soo stuck in my head 0_0 (as you can see from the title). Hehe, I'm adding it as my music on my blog layout...speaking of blog layouts, oh my gosh how sexy is it? *bouncey bouncey* I'm luffing it to peices and smeices....lol, knowing me it'll probably be gone by the end of half-term...

{{{RANDOM: Haha...haha thats funneh xD }}}

LUV YA MWA MWA MWA
ASH

...I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you...

2006-06-24T11:08:00.000+03:00

...I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you...

Whoah. x_x. Have I had a week.

On Thursday I had my first hockey match, playing for the U14 C's. It was hard match for us against St Marys (in case you don't know, our school's sworn enemy. Coz they call themselves Saints. But we're the real Saints). But, uh, we lost. 3-0. Could have been worse I guess. Well, maybe not seeing as I ran into the goalie from the other team! -___-. Blind one.

Then after school yesterday (which was a boring mish-mash of arts festival) I went to Fourways with A.J, Lara, Claudz, Chez, and Tatum. About an hour before I left I got this frantic phonecall from Claudine.

Ash: Hello?
Claudz: Ash, I-I have a problem.
Ash: Claudz, what's wrong?! Are you crying?!
Claduz: *sob sob* I went to the hair-dresser and they messed up my hair. It's horrible I don't even want to think about going out.

By the way she made it sound I thought it was this hideous bob with choppy layers. Lara phoned me straight afterwards and I answered "OH MY GOD".

When we saw her at the movies...it was actually really nice =0. It was shorter but the layers looked really stunning.

[Random: My French manicure looks crap -_-]

At the movies we went to see Posiedon 0_0. Holyfrickinggoshnesssomeonekillmenow. It wasn't a scary-scream-your-head-off movie. It was more like a fucking-nerve-racking-grab-the-person-sitting-next-to-you's-hand-and-crush-it movie. Seriously, I couldn't feel my damn hand after Claudine grabbed it. Lol.

Anywayz, bye all

Ash

...why d'you have to go and make things so complicated...

2006-06-18T11:40:00.000+03:00

...why d'you have to go and make things so complicated...

LIFOS.

Life. Is. Full. Of. SHIT

If there's one thign I've learned from this whole thing of life, it's this. LIFE GOES ON and even if you fall it doesn't stop for you to catch your breath and dust off the dirt from your clothes. Like, fat chance.

My grandparents are moving down to Howick soon. Them, going to a retirement home? NOOOO. They have to go to effing backwards Howick. All becasue their other selfish daughter (my aunt) wishes them to be nearer her. And as we all know, they would break their backs just for her. My (now suicidal) mother has been going through hell, coz she knows as much as I do that once the move to Howick, the next time we will see them is on their deathbed. The whole family is estranged beyond measure on my mothers side. And my father (oh my word I couldn't spell it for a minute) is HAPPY they're going. Bastard.

Friendwize, I went to Jenna's house on Friday (it was a public holiday, yay, rock on Youth Day) . Oh my lord, at least it was something fun. We ran down the street with an axe (!!) to cut down trees for our Arts and Culture project. LOL, everyone seemed to walk on the opposite side of the road when they saw us. Gee, I wonder why. LOL, the deadly tree stealers. I think if it wasn't for my friends, I wouldn't make it through all the curveballs I get thrown against.

I need to start making notes for exams (YAY NOT). Bye guys.

Ash

...so go on live your life...

2006-06-08T09:29:00.000+03:00

...so go on live your life...

Cambourne won house plays. -_-. We came second. See, it was judged based on dance, drama, music and art. We won the art, with our backdrops and props etc. (we had, like, this cool backdrop which would got neon in the dark and the outline of the city would glow ^_^). Cambourne won dance, drama and music! I agree, their dance was superb and so was their drama, but their music didn't do it for me.

The thing that ruined the whole evening was the sound and lighting crew. For all our performances (except Cambournes strangely enough -_- ) they screwed up everything. They would switch off the lights randomly in the middle of a performance, play the wrong songs or, as with the case of Stratton's (our) grand finale, not even play the effing song! We had a really good song which could have won us the Music section. If it had played. It was really bad, they played about 3 seconds of the song and then it stopped and we were left to sing on our own without any backtrack. When we reached the part of the song where there's this funky rap part and our breakdancers where meant to dance, Bianca (Honey) just had to announce that it was the end.

Anyway, enough about the plays...
Whoever said horoscopes were a load of bull were sooo wrong. I was reading the one in the TV guide and it said under Aries how our "radiant confidence" will attract illnesses this week =o. How. Effing. True. *cough sniff*. The other stuff it said also have turned out to be pretty accurate. So there. I'm not ever going to diss my horoscope ever again...

Geez, this My Chemical Romance song, "Give 'em Hell Kid" won't stop playing over and over again in my head (click http://www.lyricsdepot.com/my-chemical-romance/give-em-hell-kid.html">here for lyrics). It really gets me, like the part when he says "But I miss you more than I did yesterday", but especially the part he screams "You're beautiful!" Michael introduced me to MCR and I can just imagine him singing this song. He always used to say that "you're beautiful" crap...

Ugh, wait *slaps self*. Ok, I give anyone full permission to attack me and get me out of my mourning. Today would have been our 6 month anniversary. And in two days time it will be 2 monthes from the breakup. So why am I still so nostalgic? Why can't I just forget him? Worse still, why do I still have these dates imprinted in my mind??!! I trust myself enough to know I wouldn't go out with him again if he came crawling back, yet I still love him and I wouldn't give anything in exchange for those 4 amazing monthes.

But, God, do I miss him. ='(

ASH

...but I miss you more than I did yesterday...

2006-06-06T09:29:00.000+03:00

...but I miss you more than I did yesterday...

*cough* I'm sick. Great, innit? Just effing great. And its not like I can even get some rest, coz I keep seeing my pile (let me rephrase that - mountain) of homework sitting there next to me. -_-. Those faggots who so graciously call themselves our "teachers" are going to kill us all soon.

[BTW, I can't seem to get comments to work on this layout, so just post your stuff in the taggyboard ^_^]

Tonight is also House Plays. My house, Stratton, the most kick-ass house known to humankind is doing the South African version of "Honey" (and if you do not know what that is I suggest you kick yourself very hard). It's excellent. The dancing is superb, the singing is superb and the acting is superb. I'm part of the group who sing and dance to "I Believe" by Yolanda Adams. Trewen is doing "Old Town", Kenwyn is doing "Cinderella" and Cambourne is doing "Romeo and Jojo" (WTF??!!). I don't want to be biased, but our play is really different and funky compared to the other unoriginal ideas. Stratton has all worked really hard, and we deserve 1st place. If I get photos or a video, I post 'em. And this time, I promise ^_^.

[RANDOM - Found this just now...dirty...but brilliant =P

Well gotta go. Me still sicki.

ASHY

...we're falling apart to have time...

2006-05-28T13:04:00.000+03:00

...we're falling apart to have time...

Hmm, neglected this little bloggie haven't I?

Well, you guys won't be able to IM me again for sometime. My computer had to be taken in for servicing and, now it's back, I've been too lazy to re-download the messenger -_-. But I will do it...someday...

Oh my friggin gosh, I FINALLY got converse shoes! Wheee...they r sooo kewl. I've been wanting them for for ages. I went to UFO (United Fashion Outlet hehe) today to get them. They're not the All Stars version, they're Soviet. But still. Hawt hawt hawt X). I got black ones, and my sissie got denims ones. I'll post some piccies soon...

Yesterday I went with Amy, A.J and Lara to see Failure to Launch at Sandton. I didn't have that high expectancies, ya know, I thought it would be just another cheesy romantic flick. But it was actually really funny with a good storyline =). Hehe, we had loads of fun, me and mah besties...

Anywayzzzz, luv y'all

ASHY

...I can live without you...

2006-05-12T19:05:00.000+03:00

...I can live without you...

Oh. My. Gosh. I finally updated after, like, forever 0_0.
My week was completely, madly, entirely, totally, utterly, [insert word] pointless. For the love of God, don't teachers and couches realise some of us need something called, oh, I don't know, a life!!??

Tuesday was rather...interesting. In EMS, we were laughing and chatting whilst Mr. Peroldt was taking a phone-call outside, when Mrs. Aquisto (our head) poked her head around the door. The whole class went silent except Gabi and Kim who were sitting next to me. I was trying to nudge them quiet when Gabi loudly asked "Why the hell is everyone so quiet?". x_x. Then Kim suddenly saw Mrs. Aquisto and shouts "HOLY MOTHER FUCKER!" and fell off her chair. =o. We got lectured for about 3 hours on ""improper-use-of-crude-language"", but hey. It was absolutely hilarious!!! LMAO LMAO

On Wednesday (i.e 1 month from the breakup) I had my first beginners hockey lesson x_x. Ha. Ha. It actually went quite well, and when we were told to crouch and bend when we were holding the hockey stick, Jess was all, "Don't hurt your back! Just take a crap!" =P. Jess, Lara and I are now affectionately known as "The Crappers". Then some genius (cough Mr. Shearer cough) locked the squash courts so Lara and I couldn't play. =(.

(RANDOM -> Today the world was meant to end. And it didn't. Damn.)

I also found out from Ang that loads of gossip is floating around the Boy's College about who I'm currently dating o_o. Apparently some Grade 9 guy called David claims he's dating me and others. Since I don't know any guys in either Grade 9 nor 12, I find that very, very scary. B.l.e.g.h.

(DOUBLE RANDOM -> Michael just smsed me asking how I'd been...hmm...I'll reply later...=( )

Luv ya,
Ashy

P.S: to all my contacts, my Yahoo hasn't been working, thus my offlineishness.

...i'm too sexy for my shirt o_o...

2006-05-06T19:55:00.000+03:00

i'm too sexy for my shirt 0_0

Ignore the heading.
Trust me.
It will only confuse u.

Ok ok, so I said I would update on Sunday. But I'm bored shite-less. So I'm updating today. Bite me, grrrarrr. *bounce bounce* geez I'm high on caffeine...

Ahem, anyway, moooving on to the point, Amz asked if I could post some pics of Mike. So here they are...yes I know they suk.

He was hot, I admit. A jerk. But hot. In that main pic, he's at his induction ceremony thingy. To the bottom left is da pic he sent me on mah cellphone, and to the top right...ahem, weeell. That was at our Grade 8 soccer evening. We were in the PROCESS of hugging when that nosy photographer dude took a picture x_x. (RANDOM - my shoes were SO hot...not)

So ya...I'm gonna go get dinna ^_^ C ya

The Ashness

(p.s "fear dah sexehness" =p)

...take me as I am...

2006-05-04T19:24:00.000+03:00

take me as i am

Hey peoplez =). Sozaloz if I haven't been online/able to chat a lot. I've been back to school, what 2 days, and the teachers already seem to find some pleasure out of screwing our lives up with a shitload of work.

Today was boring. So was yesterday. Hmm. I don't think I will give you the details. You might just die of excitement. x_x

Oh my gosh, Amy, I hope you are effing reading this, because I'm missing yoooouuuu! Come back to school you loser. =P. It sucks when you're sick. BTW, here are those pics from Tish's party you asked for. Hehe.

Hehe, this was a party last year where you had to dress up as the person/thing you hated. I dressed up as Barbie x_x. So did Ju. Kim was a hobo (=p), Amz was Nicky Hilton and Lara was...Lara. Yes, that is me on the bottom left for all you people who want to know what I look like. I was practising my best shmodel pose =).

Better go. It's dinner. Hehe.

Luv ya guys like jelly tots and vodka shots!
Ashy Pashy Moo Schmuck Fluffy

...we'll love again, we'll laugh again and it's better off this way...

2006-05-02T14:25:00.000+03:00

we'll love again, we'll laugh again and it's better off this way

Whenever you used to gaze into my eyes, I saw her reflection instead of mine. Her face you would rather look so longingly at. Her lips you would rather kiss. You're killing me deep inside. Words cannot express how deeply you have wounded me, these wounds that will never truly heal. Didn't you realize that whenever you raised me up so high just so you could shoot me back down, that of course I would go down with it!? I have to pretend everyday for the world, everyday that I'm over you and that I've moved on.
Well, I'm not.
I remember all those times that I thought that things were finally gonna be OK, and then watched helplessly as everything crashed to the ground and I alone was left to pick up the pieces. The thought that is killing me now is not that I lost you, but that I once had you, and the slow realization I played your fool.
I tried. Yes I tried so hard.
When people asked me why I hadn't left you, I couldn't find the answer. And I still can't. Funny thing about all this? I still love you, Michael.
And I'll never be able to tell my heart that you're gone.

Ashley ~~Potter~~

...i've lost the one thing worth fighting for...

2006-04-12T21:35:00.000+03:00

i've lost the one thing worth fighting for

Michael and I broke up.
...
Shocker, huh? I knew it was coming. I always did. *sigh*. From the beginning of the relationship it was evident that we were too young and, although we might last a long time, it wouldn't be forever. So here goes...

I met him after school on Monday. He gave me my b-day prezzie and asked me to open it so he could "see how it looked on me". Hehe. So I did, watching Muso and Gareth out of the corner of my eye. It was a beautiful Milano glass heart necklace (those things go for about R300 here!) !!! I was so shocked! With that he glanced side-ways to his friends and was all "can you walk with me?"
In that moment, I knew. I knew exactely what was gonna happen next. We went down the bank (and I just had to embarress myself by slipping halfway down -_-) and walked across the field to get away from any prying eyes (i.e Gareth and Muso). We went behind the cricket nets and he quickly fastened the necklace over my neck and said "Close your eyes...do you know how to follow your heart? Now, just follow my lead,"

He kissed me.

French and wet. But amazing. My first kiss! Funny how kissing seems so different in movies. You see the two people drawing in close on each other and then, one cue, a romantic little love song plays. To me, no song can describe how unbelievable it was. However, it was fairly gross...all that tongue and saliva 0_o. Ick. But ya. We kissed for about 1 minute, it was kinda long...and then we broke off...after that the hard part hit. He fingered the heart on my chest and said "Ash, we've had some great, amazing times together. I hope that whenever you wear this necklace you'll remember them,"

He then confessed about Lauren and said that he "didn't want to do another stupid thing again in the future to hurt me" and thought we should go our seperate ways but (cliche cliche) remain really good friends for now.

At that moment it started drizzling rain.

Now that felt like something outta a movie.

The rest passed in a blur. We hugged a lot, held hands a lot, but I do remember him saying these words.
"I love you, Ashley {my surname}. I love you, I always have, I always will and I will love you to the grave,"
...
Wow.
I was just blown away. To end things off, he took my hands and said, "Everytime I hold these hands I feel, some sort of connection. Ashley...may I kiss you one last time if for the last time?" So yeah, we frenched again...and we had already broken up! 0_0. Afterwards, we hugged for a very very long time...and...we just couldn't let go. When we finally did, he smiled and said "I'll walk you back up," As we were, he whispered "Cum here u," and put his arm around my shoulder, and my arm found his waist. Muso was so gay, he was all "Con-gratulations Ash-ley". Mike just shook his head and offered his hand on the way up the slope. Then, we hugged goodbye and he kissed me gently on the cheek. He then whispered softly "This is not the end," in my ear. WTF?

Get how confoozed I was. The best thing had happened to me - I'd gotten my first kiss! - but also the worst. I found myself half laughing half crying on my bed, the necklace still hanging from my neck. I've thought about it a lot. I came to the conclusion he does like me, maybe even love me, but he probably freaked out when he realized how intense and serious we were at the age of fourteen (!!), and wanted to still have some "fun" with other girls. So ya...sigh. Maybe there is a place for us in the future. I don't know. I guess it's what I would like to believe, but maybe not what I should believe. So was the end of my 4 month and 2 day relationship with my first boyfriend. I read this poem to help understand some of my emotions.

Forget his name, forget his face.
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget his love that once was true.
Remember now there is someone new.
Forget you cried all night long
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.
Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Forget the times he made you sad.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is things aren't the same.
Forget the times you looked into his eyes
Forget his gentle and teasing lies.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.
Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget the way he looked at you
Forget the touch of his hands
Forget the way he made you see
Remeber now it was never meant to be.

Luv, as always, Ash

P.S My 1st term marks (highest to lowest). I was ranked 5th overall in the grade. wh00t ;p->
History - 100%
Science - 99%
Biology - 94%
EMS - 94%
Maths - 92%
French - 88%
Arts & Culture - 87%
English - 86%
Afrikaans - 82%
Geography - 81%
Design & Technology - 80%
LO - 66% - cough cough

whoo...finally...an update :P

2006-04-05T19:24:00.000+03:00

Hey guys sorry for not posting for a while. Since Tuesday and today weren't too eventful, I'll talk about my b-day now shan't I? :P

Well, on Monday, I arrived at school and were greeted by my many enthusiastic peers, who ALL wished me Happy Birthday :). I was so happy! Many hugs and luffies were exchanged. At first break, Claudz whipped out a few balloons (two red, one green and one yellow) which she declared she was going to tie in my hair 0_0. Well...the reds popped before they got into my hair...and the green popped whilst Julia was writing on it. So I was left with my yellow one....he he.

So, the end of the day was nearing, and one person in question still hadn't wished me happy b-day. Hmmm....well Claudine was outraged and sent him a couple of angsty smses. During maths, shortly before the end of school, I received an sms from Mike reading "Ash cn i talk 2 u?". I got such a fright! I said sure and arranged to meet him near the DNT block after school, since Amy, Hilary and I had to go to Aftercare anywayz. As I was walking down there with the two of them, everyone was chanting "Break up with him! Break up with him!" It was so hurtful ='(. Amy and Hilary were such good friends. They waited with me til he arrived, saying they would stand at a distance and leave us two alone but also promised to be there to survey the scene in case I needed them. =) I wuv 'em.

When he did arrive...I just broke down as he hugged me. I was so close to tears and just kept saying "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry". He was all "Ash's what's wrong? It's Ok, it's ok," He clasped my face with his hands and pulled me close. <3<3<3<3. So we talked. He apologized so much about forgetting my birthday - although technically he didn't, since he saved it onto his old phone which he lost. I told him about what people thought about him and me and said that they were all wishing me luck with dumping his ass. He frowned and said, "Well, if you also feel that way, you just have to tell me. Because otherwise this isn't gonna work out," I shook my head and was all, "No, I don't. I like you way too much," He just smiled and said, "You know how much I care about your feelings, coz that's what should really count," and gave me a hand squeeze. Eek!
So ya, things loosened up after that. Jess arrived in all her blonde glory and was all "So have you guys broken up?"

-_- Subtle. Real subtle.

But ya, after that we just went off, me to aftercare and him to RUGBY!!! (oh my gosh...sexehness or what?).

As I was walking back from Aftercare, I got a nice little sms that popped from my phone:
Hey babe...juz thght i d tel u tht i m really sorry and to say...Happy Birthday...frm a gy who cares mor abt u thn himslf...luv ya...=)
Sender:
Michael <3

*dreamy eyes* A very eventful birthday all in all. But definitely one of mah best! =)

My B-day 2moz!!

2006-04-02T21:09:00.000+03:00

Aaah! I'm so excited! Tomorrow marks my 14th birthday! Whooo. Go crazy baby...

Yesterday was April Fools, and, to celebrate it, we had a bash at Amy's house. It was so funny! I pitched in long stripey toe-socks, a black skirt, a white top with a bikini top over it and these huge earrings that threatened to knock out anyone who came near them. Sarah Reed had these fake boobs. =P. We then went "trick-or-treating" up Amy's neighbourhood and posed for all the cars that passed us. One guy honked when he saw Sarah's...ahem...assets.

Amy-> Sarah? Where are you? We need to tempt these dirty old men.
Sarah-> Wait!! I left my boobs behind! *runs off*

Hehe. The way she said it was SO funny!

So ya that was yesterday. Oooh, today, in celebration of mah birthday tomorrow, my family and I went to the Michelangelo restaraunt (sp?) for lunchies. Damn that place serves the finest stuff out! Otherwise, I've just been lazing around today, reminising over crap...yeah...the joys of Sundays...

If you're wonderng how Michael is...he's fine. I found out from Angela on Monday he kissed another girl on Saturday. So yeah, that was pretty saddening at the time. I heard it just before a major Afrikaans comprehension test. All the time through it, I kept hearing Ang's voice "And...he kissed her," Strangest thing was that I didn't even cry. I also managed to ace a 90% for that test. Weird...
I also didn't break up with him. Guys, don't call me crazy. I'm not going to break up with someone I still love. But, damn, did I give that asshole a guilt-trip.

Mike -> So, um, have you heard any rumours about me lately?
Ash -> Oh yeah, I heard this one that you kissed another girl. But I chose not to believe bullshit like that. I know you would NEVER do anything like that to me. *smiles sweetly*
Mike -> Um, ok, I've um, got to, um go. Yeah, go. Speak to you later ok?

Girlfriends, the power was in my hands! And damn did I feel good when he looked sheepishly away! Jess (one of his friends) told me he was really really upset about the whole thing and couldn't believe that he would do something like that to me. Jess, being Jess, apparently asked him whether he still wanted me. And he apparently nearly throttled her screaming "YES!! YES!! Don't you GET IT??!!"

Humph. He ain't in my good books at the mo. Unless he does something REALLY nice for my b-day tomorrow, he can forget about me.

Is this what we want? ='(

2006-03-25T20:59:00.000+03:00

I can't take this anymore. For the past 48 hours, my life has been hell. It all passed in a blur of anger, tears and confusion.
All because of one person.
Michael.
So, let's rewind to Friday afternoon, break-time. I was heading towards Tutor Lunch when Jess Robey stopped me and pulled me aside. "So, are you going to the movies tomorrow?" she said. Well, since I didn't know what was going on, I said no. Her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. "What! Didn't Michael invite you? He's organising the entire thing you know...I'm going and so are some other girls and guys."
In that moment and whilst I was walking towards L.O, I felt everything closing in on me. See, it wasn't the fact that he didn't invite me that bugged me, that I can handle. It was the fact I haven't been out with him for over a month because he's been "too busy" and now I find out he is making compromises for his female friends...that annoyed me. Kenny told me Michael thinks he is "the shit around girls". Ugh. I can't take it!
I'm a low-maintance girlfriend. I don't mind when he see's friends, I don't mind him seeing female friends even but I do start to have a problem when he's seeing them more than he sees me. It hurts. So much.
I always try to will myself to cry over things that hurt me. And the tears usually never come. Well, this time, they came alright. ='(
Deep down, I have a feeling he want's to break up, but is too much of a coward to do it. Doesn't he know I will never do it?
Because when I say I will never hurt him...
I mean it.

I HAVE RETURNED!!! :P

2006-03-18T22:33:00.000+03:00

Hahaha...I am back. Missed me? LOL.

Truth is, life has been really REALLY hectic lately...so get ready for a stack of updates!

** random -> how do you like the new layout?Huge props to Mela for the layout, although I hade to alter it in order to hide the NavBar etc. But still, lekker work my china :P **

Well, Mike and I finally went out on a date again - on the 23rd of Feb. We went to see Big Momma's House 2, which was actually really funny, and not cheap as some people have said it is. It was so perfect, and seeing him made everything even better. Sigh...love...
Although, lately, stuff has been rather confusing with Mike. He hasn't smsed me for a week (although he sometimes does that because he's too busy/outta money -_-) and I get the feeling he is worried about me. Well, who wouldn't be? I set the freakin stove on fire on Tuesday I was so effing pived. When I'm around him, I suddenly act kinda cold. I don't know why, I just do! So, for now, I'm just waiting it out, waiting for him to contact me in some form.

School's been good - I got 98% for my last Biology test, and 100% for my last two History projects. Muhahaha! SUCK-OOON-THAT Kate Shmidt!

So ya *cough splutter hack*. Friends are also OKish... Julia is now on some sort of youghurt diet and is losing SO MUCH unnesecary weight :(. Her and Ash J are irritating the hell outta me. Ash is just so immature and jealous. Ugh...maybe if she had a love life, she'd stop worrying about mine.

Today I got these awesome new jeans - slim fit with a boot leg cut by RT Denim - and a really cute pink and black stripped top by Destroy @ YDE, that hangs slightly off the shoulders (a picture of it is on my webcam to the left). I've been wanting these items of clothing for ages!!

*yawn* I'm kinda tired now, so ya...me is going to go. Wuv ya!

~*~Ash~*~

Random. Very Random.

2006-02-17T18:47:00.000+03:00

Well today was stupid/annoying/unbearable/insert angsty word here. So I won't annoy you with a rant on how bloody pissed off I am with life right now. So... here are the differences between guys and girls when it coms to love...

GUYS
When a guy is quiet, he's listening to you
When a guy is not arguing, he realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
When a guy stares at you, he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world
When you're laying your head on a guy's shoulder he has the world
When a guy say he loves you he means it (most of the time)
When a guy says he can't live without you he's with you till you're done
When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

GIRLS
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering what she did to deserve someone as amazing as you.
When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl says she loves you she means forever.
When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them,wish they would die or know that you would die without them ...it matters not. Because once in your life,whatever they were to the world they become everything to you.When you look them in the eyes, traveling tothe depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of their very heart. Given the chance, we would change the world just so they wouldn't have to feel hurt anymore. We love our guys/girls for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

Boerewors, chakalaka sauce...

2006-02-16T19:41:00.000+03:00

Well, today was officially random...Ashleigh, Randzo, Lara and I presented our "Living in South Africa 2006" song. We too the "Wake Me Up When September Ends" lyrics and converted them into a very interesting group of lyrics. Our band name is "The Pink Panthers"...random, I know. Mrs. Shreuder really liked our song though. Here are our lyrics:

Wake Me Up When Corruption Ends
By The Pink Panthers
Boerewors, chaka-laka sauce
Taxi drivers think they're driving a Porsche.
Wake me up, when corruption ends *machine gun noises "No More!*

Jacob Zuma is happy again
He just won trial 1 for rape
Wake me up, when corruption ends *machine gun noises "No More!*

Look on the bright side, South Africa's great
It's better than Bush and the United States
Wake me up, when corruption ends
Wake me up, when corruption ends
Shhhh...

LMAO. =P

I didn't see Mike today...the Grade 8 boys had to go on a litter drive...Eish. Shame. But school all in all was fun. So ya. Oh my word, Alex was all "Amy showed me your boyfriend at swimming yesterday!" =P I just laughed. And Gabi started going on about "And when you guys have children, you must call you son...HARRY!!" Yes. I know. My friends are sick. And very scary.

Lara and I had a fight today. All because I so much as told Amy (which I must add is one of Lara's 'closest' friends) about David. Well did she flip. She went on to say how I shouldn't have told them and blah blah blah. Well I'm sorry but I wouldn't have though that Lara would keep stuff like that from the others. We tell her everything. And I mean everything. Why can't she just stop being so paranoid and get the picture? So we were in deadly silence for the next hour. When things loosened up over 2nd break, Ash J had just made a disgusting comment about me and Michael, so I ran up to Lara on our way to class and said "Oh my word, Ash J is sooo sick," Lara frowned and asked why. Well, being completely silly and stupid after my random moment, I just looked at her and giggled. *cough*. Let's just so she was all "Fine, don't tell me then. If you want to say something next time don't bring up the subject and not say it." and marched off.

"Fine". Bitch.

(RANDOM EDIT: OH MY GOSH! I JUST REALISED THAT TODAY IS THE 16TH! MY LUCKY NUMBER! =P)

*Sigh* Once again, I better go. It's 6:49 and I've not even started my homework...bye luv ya lots.

<3

2006-02-15T20:00:00.000+03:00

Well, I finally saw my boo again :). He is so sweet and cute...

But I'll come to that now now. Oh my word, maths was sooo hyper today. Amy was telling me that she saw Mike at waterpolo - and that he pulls up his costume really high :0. Lol, shame man. Give the poor guy a break. Oh yeah, and I had the random idea of naming our calculators (because we get so many answers from them, they may as well have a name :P). Mine is called Bob. So whenever Julia asks me for another answer, I'll just say "Ask Bob, he's clever". LOL, this might not seem very funny right now, but believe me, at the time it was hilarious.

At break I got a message from (guess who) Mike, asking whether I wanted to meet up with him. Well DUUH. Abandoning my friends and my lunch, I ran down to the field and meet up with him :). He was so cute. Except for the fact he had a bit of chip flakes on his cheek but I just pretended I didn't see that. It wasn't our best conversation, us getting distracted by all the people around us. We were both so embarresed so that didn't help either. He told me that he got a bunch of roses from a girl called Sarah Reid. WTF!!!??? Then, low-and-behold, the ugly-faced, fat bitch walks up to us, gives this sickly fake smile and says "Oh Mike, congratulations on getting confirmed (something about waterpolo, i didn't really get it)." Grrr. What utter nerve. Hah, at least I made her jealous. LMAO, that reminds me, as I left him, Sarah L (the good Sarah :)), Di and Gabi walked up with me back to class and they were making such fun of the way I hugged him - coz it's kinda problem, I have to reach up to hug him and he has to reach down. They said I looked like I was praising him... 0_0... weird...

Mike attracts so many female admirers, it effing annoys me!
But I still <3 him. So much :).
Sigh...well, I better be off to finish my homework, I've barely even started it. Bye, luvya lots.

Valentines Day!!

2006-02-14T21:00:00.000+03:00

So...it was Valentines today! :) What a day... well, I rocked up at school in my new pink top and jeans (we were allowed to wear civvies for the price of R5) and waited in baited breath for Grade Barraza when they would be handing out the gifts from the boys.
When Barazza finally came...
...well I waited...
...and waited...
...and waited...
...and waited...
and after waiting for the whole of lunch they finished handing out all of the Val's gifts and I had gotten nothing! Amy and Claudine didn't get anything either - lots of girls didn't - but they haven't been going out with a guy for 2 monthes like me!!! My friends were really kind and gentle on me. When Ashleigh J saw Mike after school at the pool, apparently it went something like this:
Ash J: Mike! So, um, what did you get Ash for Valentines?
Mike: Oh, I got her a card and everything! Didn't she tell you?
Ash J: *cough* Ur, she didn't tell me, because she didn't get anything.
Mike: *shocked silence* That's terrible! Is she upset?
Ash J: Um, ya. Quite badly.
Mike: Oh no...I'll have to make it up to her!

So, at least I know that a guy out there that cared for me this Valentines...when I got home I received this frantic SMS from him that went like this (copied directly, even the typos):
Hey babe!IM SO SORRY ABOUT 2DAY!I BOUGHT A CARD 4 U AND THE DIDNT Deliver it!bt i ll make it up 2 u i swear!i m soz..bt hw was ur day?

Aww...how cute is he? He also said that my card I sent him made him smile the whole day. Tehehe. It was such a random card I sent him, I swear to god. I was so hyper on coke the evening. Muhaha.

So yeah - that was my random day. I'm now researching Leonardo Da Vinci, the Rennaisance and Mona Lisa. My sister swears that Leo baby is gay, and that his lover was Sainai (WHAT THE FUCK?) but yeah...random stuff.

Ah well, I better finish my homework...bye lov ya lots :)

Mascara and shopping...

2006-02-11T21:45:00.000+03:00

Mascara and shopping...goes like fish and chips 0_0 (If you don't get it, don't ask)

LOL, well, today was pretty random. This mornind I went grocery shopping with my mom...and I also went clothing shopping, for a top to wear on Valentine's Day. My mom didn't get it. She thinks I have too many tops already. Umm, well, maybe I do have quite a few tops, but er...ahem, well....*cough* I did find a nice top at Foshini - pink with a small circular sown in the front. The only thing that I didn't really like was that it hugs your body and exposes all, including your bra and bra straps!! Since we could only get a certain size, my mom and I will go to the Foshini in Cresta to get a smaller size tomorrow. Anywayz, whilst we were shopping, Lara called and asked if I could come shopping in Sandton with her tonight. I was all like "Oh my freak - hell yeah!" :P Seriously, I needed a night to socialize in Sandton.

So after the shopping I met up with her...on the way Johannesburg experienced such a freak rainstorm. Four wheel drives were getting stuck in the road (under all the water). It was so scary! When we did arrive at Sandton, I randomly shopped around with Lara...I found these really cute heart earrings I'm gonna wear on Val's day. Hehe...we also went to the cinema to watch Big Momma's House 2. It was soooo effing funny! I don't think I've ever heard an audience laugh so hard - especially when "Big Momma" did "her" baywatch run! Good stuff.

So yeah it was fun...right now I'm thinking of Ash J, who's probably dancing the night away with Kenny. Oh well. It makes me miss Mike even more. I'll go down to the field for a bit at break to see if I can meet up with him...but I'm going to be a lot more careful now. Strikes are going to start being issued out and the Matrics do NOT like the Grade 8's visiting the guys. Humph...I'll think of a way.

(RANDOM THOUGHT: Hehe...I just had a random flashback to tutor lunch yesterday, when Gabi was all "So how's it going, what with your HOT MAN!". LOL, good times...)

Oh well. Gah, I best be going to wash my mascara off - and try to destroy these two pimples on my forehead! So cheers, bye =)

Fridays rock.

2006-02-10T23:11:00.000+03:00

Heck yeah. Fridays rock. SO HARD! :P Hehe...

My friends were all "Why aren't you going to the St. John's Valentines Social?" I just laughed. I partially didn't want to go because last weekend's Brescia social...well...lets just say it was reeaally dodgey...which put me off. The other reason was that, if I did go, I would have gone with Mike but he is St. Stithians...now anyone who lives in Gauteng should know that St. John's boys and St Stithian's boys have MAJOR disputes. Sooo, right now, at this time, Ash J will probably be slow-dancing the night away with Kendrick at the social tomorrow whilst I am sitting here all on my lonesome...wah. Mike's away on an Aquatics tour anyway (and so is Amy and Julia. I warned them to back off...I've enough to deal with, regarding those sluts at Rodean and Brescia falling all over him ). I'll have to live without his cute SMS's for the next two days. Aww well...

So, school went good today...I finally managed to hand in my Val's card (well, I gave it to Candy who gave it to Cass who supposidly gave it in to the Grade 11's who are chauffering the Val's gifts across to the boys' side...) and I also got my President's Award forms from Ms. Colyn. The President's Award is the same as the Duke of Edinburgh Award in other countries I think...

After school Lara and I went to Rodean to play squash...her playing U14 and me playing flippin' U15 - rank two on the ladder I might add! Wow...I don't think I've ever felt so out of my league. Only one ranking above me was Nicole, a flipping South African squash player!!! And then there's little me...a little U14 who they thought was good enough to put in the U15 team who, I might add, isn't even a Gauteng player. Overall, I got 5 points for my first game, 1 for my next and 1 for my last :P. My opponent was hectically good. Seriously though, those Rodean girls knew how to serve and whip ass. Lara scored even less than me - 0 for her first game, 2 for her next and 1 for her last.

Hehe...Lara and I have such an evil theroy...that's Rodean girls are anno and on steroids. Call us mean, but the coach is a pusher and those girls never smile. Stupid cows...

Anyways, before I leave you, this is a little something I found on the internet a while back...I find it so true:

Whoo...new blog :P

2006-02-09T16:44:00.000+03:00

Hey y'all :)

Highschool... wow, what a change! Thing is, that's what our year-group needed. Some of us had basically grown up with each other for the past 9 years. Call it a close-bonding, a sisterhood, but in my opinion? Everyone was crawling up everyone's nerves. In Grade 7, the classes were so small and tight that, if you had just started going out with a guy, the entire grade would know in under 4 hours of you finalizing it! Scary innit?

Now, in Grade 8, there are so many new faces...with so many different backgrounds. I've been able to mantain my old friendships and make so many new ones. Thinking back on those anxious nights thinking about high-school, I laugh. Human nature immediately recognizes change as something terrible, when really it isn't.

*sigh* Anyway, my day was good today...besides the fact I didn't get to see Michael and I'm missing him terribly! This whole relationship thing is so new to me...I dunno whether I should ask to see him or whether that would be seen as a "no-no" in the Rules of Dating. Then again, it could be giving the message to him that I'm disinterested. I saw him on Monday and Tuesday at break and then he stopped asking to see me. Maybe he thinks that HE is coming across too strong? Gah...next time I DO see him I'll discuss which breaks we'll meet up. You see, Mike is one of those rare guys - with the looks and without the major ego! Apparently girls were falling all over him at the social and he pushed them off saying "Girls, I'm taken." =). See why I love him?

Ahem, well, moving off the subject of boys - for now. At school we got our marks back for the Maths, English and Science cycle tests. I was overjoyed with the results - Maths was 48 out of 49 (98%), English was 22.5 out of 25 (90%) and Science was 44 out of 45 (can't remember percent right now). The girl who received the bursary actually bombed out on all these tests...Claudine and I couldn't help but get hectically annoyed.

(RANDOM: I can't wait till Valentines! Sorry, I just had to say that. I'm giving Mike a very cool card that I wrote a lot of nice stuff down in it. Wonder what he's getting me... I have a feeling something is going to happen...something good! Veeery good!)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my random rant... luv ya, bye :)

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